by Iain Guest
Pabitra Badi sat cross-legged on the floor of her music shop in the town of Tulsipor, reflecting on her life as a role model for the Nepali LGBTQ+ community and a leader in the Badi caste, which is widely despised in Nepal for having practiced prostitution over many years.
It was a tranquil scene as Ms Badi, 51, repaired a traditional madal drum while neighbors wandered by to watch and listen to her latest exchange with visitors.
They were curious but also respectful because Ms Badi is well-known in Nepal for being in a loving same-sex union that goes against the grain in a largely conservative region of the world. She has also shattered a taboo that discourages marriage between castes and makes a good living from her drums, in sharp contrast to most Badi families which are mired in poverty.
At the same time, and in spite of her accomplishments, Ms Badi is also an exception in a society that is still in thrall to caste, even though Nepal rejected the caste system in 2008 and has criminalized discrimination in several laws.
The depth and persistence of caste emerged during a recent mission by The Advocacy Project (AP) to the districts of Dang and Banke in central Nepal. The visit was arranged through Backward Society Education (BASE), a respected Nepali NGO and long-time partner of AP. The meetings are described in blogs on the AP website.
The mission met with eight Dalit sub-castes, including the Badi, and found that most remain socially isolated and trapped in traditional occupations that can be impoverishing and demeaning to women and girls. Ms Badi’s own sub-caste is still associated with centuries of prostitution, even though the practice was declared illegal in 2008.
This is of concern to NGOs like BASE that are committed to social justice and change. BASE rose to prominence by leading a national campaign against bonded labor, but BASE officials question whether the tools employed in that campaign are suitable for something as complex as caste and identity. This prompted the invitation to AP.
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Pabitra Badi tells visitors that she is happy to be a gender role model.
She fell for her partner, Bimala BK, at the age of nine when the two girls were herding animals together. “I was mad for love!” she said with a giggle. Bimala is from the Biswokarma, considered to be an elite sub-caste at the opposite end of the spectrum from the Badi.
The two women have been partners for almost thirty years and the journey has been long and difficult. Pabitra Badi’s parents were so opposed that they even sent the police after their daughter at one point. The gossip and finger-pointing were merciless.
Eventually the two women fled to the anonymity of Kathmandu, where they found kindred spirits and joined an LGBTQ+ support group with about 300 active members. They decided to return to Tulsipor seven years ago, drawn by Pabitra’s love of the madal drums for which her village was famous. (Scroll down to see Pabitra singing and playing her drum.)
Pabitra herself is now a celebrity in Tulsipor. There is, she says, “no more gossiping” and when she hears from neighbors it is with admiration. She has become an advocate for gay rights and is deeply disturbed when she learns of acts of prejudice. In one recent incident, two girls aged 8 and 9 were shown on social media being beaten by their parents.
The couple’s personal journey has also shown the way to other Nepalis. On June 28, 2023 the Supreme Court permitted same-sex couples to register. Later in the year, on November 30, the municipality of Dordi in the district of Lamjung recognized a same-sex marriage, making Nepal only the second country in Asia to make the move after Taiwan (2019). Thailand passed a same-sex law on September 24, 2024.
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The Badi first came to Nepal from India in the 14th century and served as courtesans at principalities in the midwest, where they danced, sang and provided sex for nobles. This ended in 1951 when the Rana dynasty collapsed, leaving Badi women to fend for themselves. Many turned to prostitution. A government task force in 2008 found that 6% of all Badi women were still engaged in the sex trade.
The years of prostitution came vividly alive through the recollections of several Badi men and women who met with AP.
Pabitra Badi was able to escape with her partner to Kathmandu, but several of her close school friends had been sucked into prostitution as young as 13. Some were infected with HIV-AIDS and two subsequently died.
Nirmal Badi, a prominent Badi advocate, recalled how clients used to come to Tulsipor from all over Nepal and how his two older sisters – who were both active prostitutes for several years – suffered beatings and cigarette burns.
The nearby town of Ghorahi was another center for prostitution and Rangita Badi, one of three Badi mothers who met with AP, recalled cowering in her room while drunken men roamed through the town seeking out women and forcing their way into homes. “We locked the door and tried to hide,” she said.
It became so bad that Rangita and a group of teenage friends successfully petitioned the local municipality to provide a safe house for Badi girls in Ghorahi. BASE also opened a hostel for Badi girls in the town.
Many of those who met with AP insisted that the prostitution had been coerced. This was analyzed in an influential 2007 paper by Thomas Cox, which described how the “social norm” left Badi girls with no choice but to comply. Girls were prepared for their first sexual encounter at a ceremony and even taught a slang to discuss prostitution with their mothers in front of clients. The coercion of Badi girls is discussed in this AP blog.
Nirmal Badi conceded that his own sisters continued to practice prostitution as consenting adults and that prostitution may even have given Badi women more independence within their families. But, he said, they lacked alternatives and were under relentless pressure to earn money. His own sisters earned around 12,000 rupees a year ($85 at current rates) from prostitution, which paid Nirmal’s school fees but was not enough to break the cycle of poverty.
Children born from prostitution were also victims of coercion. Most Badi clients insisted on anonymity, which left their children without citizenship because nationality was handed down through the father. The words “Father not known” were entered into the child’s ID card, which was tantamount to saying he or she had been born to a prostitute.
As pressure grew for reform, the Supreme Court of Nepal authorized the granting of citizenship and birth registration to Badi children. When the government balked at passing a law, over 500 enraged Badi mothers descended on Kathmandu in 2007 and partially undressed in the city center, scandalizing lawmakers (some of whom had fathered Badi children). The world also took notice and a law was passed. Prostitution was outlawed in 2008.
The reaction in far-off Ghorahi town was less noisy but also effective. Rangita Badi and two friends petitioned the municipality to remove the offensive words from the ID cards of Badi children. Badi families also rebelled against the social norm: after Nirmal Badi insisted that his sisters cease prostitution, one married into a family from the highest Brahmin caste.
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The AP mission found that while prostitution may have ceased almost twenty years ago, the stigma still clings to Badi women.
Nirmal Badi estimated that a score of former prostitutes are living on the margins in Tulsipor after being abandoned by their families. Pabitra Badi meets with her own dwindling group of former school friends during festivals and finds them still traumatized. Dropati Badi said that some of her best friends from Ghorahi left for the Gulf but call her in tears wanting to come home.
The stigma continues to obstruct marriage between castes, according to Dropati Badi in the town of Ghorahi. Her own husband is from the Chhetri caste (descended from warriors) but was disavowed by his parents when he married into a Badi family. One Badi father, Sankar Badi Nepali, told AP that he had chosen the name of Nepali to avoid being identified as Badi. Even strong-willed Pabitra Badi considered changing her name during a particularly dark period.
Many of the Badi families that met with AP are struggling financially. Like many Badi men, Hari Prasad Badi, seen in the photo below, fishes for a living but earns just 1,200 rupees a day ($8.50) from his catch.
Badi families also suffer from limited education. Half of the children in the Badi settlement in Ghorahi town do not attend school, partly because their parents cannot afford uniforms and books. Only two of the sub-castes that met with AP are committed to education. One is this family of beggars.
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In seeking solutions, AP has recommended that NGO initiatives should be tailored to the specific needs of each sub-caste.
Desperate to see their children educated, several Badi mothers in the Ghorahi settlement want to turn an empty building into a day-care center as a way to create demand for education in the settlement and attract interest from the local authorities. But such a solution would probably not apply elsewhere.
AP has also recommended new thinking about income-generation, which is high on the list of services offered by NGOs. Impressed by Pabitra Badi’s success with her drums, BASE asked her to lead a training for fifteen other Badi women. But she told AP that only five trainees still make drums because the materials are expensive and most families live on unregistered land, which makes them less inclined to take risks. For Nirmal Badi, this underscores the importance of providing Badi families with land.
AP has also recommended more focus on creating demand for traditional products. This could include the online promotion of music by Gandarbha minstrels and a business plan for members of the Kewat sub-caste, who make biodegradable plates from the leaves of the Sal tree. The plates fetch a high price in Kathmandu during festivals, but that market is distant and beyond the reach of families in central Nepal without any formal business experience.
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In the end, it comes down to advocacy.
Nepal has been a petri dish for social change since the end of the Maoist rebellion in 2006 thanks to outspoken advocates like Dilli Chaudhary, the founder of BASE, and Uma Badi, who led the famous Badi protest that scandalized the world in 2007.
But AP also met with individuals from sub-castes who do not need publicity to achieve social change – like Dropita and Rangita Badi in the town of Ghorahi, Nirmal Badi in Tulsipor and Sunita Chidimar in Nepalgunj, who re-enrolled in school at the age of 34. Such advocates are often hiding in plain sight but could provide essential guidance to a new BASE initiative.
Pabitra Badi placed herself somewhere in-between. Before leaving, we asked if she is proud of being a Badi. “I am earning,” she replied. “I have my partner. We are not backward because we are Badi!”
This seemed like a lukewarm endorsement when compared to the passion of Nirmal Badi and other celebrated Badi change-makers. When it comes to gender, Pabitra is out and proud. But to the extent that she is an advocate for her caste it is through her life story and talent rather than confrontation.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s and do not reflect the views or policy of BASE
