Like many other survivors of the camps, my grandfather, who just passed away at the age of 96, never wanted his wartime suffering to define the rest of his, and our, lives

I once told my therapist that I feel guilty about going to therapy because it’s a luxury my grandfather didn’t have in the camps. So why do I need therapy to face my minor issues? She answered wisely that he may have survived the camps but he certainly could have done with therapy as well.

My grandfather Aron Tennenbaum passed away a month ago at 96 and I’m still struggling with how I should commemorate him. I want to be able to learn from my grandfather’s life but I cannot do so without acknowledging that I let him down more than any of his many descendants and ultimately disagree with some of his values. After all, he had made sure in various subtle ways to make it clear to me that by being the only one of his hundred-plus descendants to have divorced and to live a secular life, I was forsaking the two principles he lived by – family and religion.